The Etiquette of Umbrella Usage

Today was rainy

Today was wet

Today my eye and an umbrella

Almost met

 

She didn’t look left

She didn’t look right

She just opened that thing

With all her might

 

‘There should be rules’

I thought, just quietly

‘On how to use

An umbrella quite rightly’

 

Now I’m not one

To argue unsupported

So I did my research

Its time to report it

 

An in-depth Google search

Of injuries, umbrellas and stats

Provides a perfect collection

Of the cold hard facts

 umbrella2

837,000 results

That Google collated

Has left me here

Inundated

 

Clearly there are dangers

Associated with careless umbrella use

Though not as many

As searching ‘Moose’

(My rhyming skills have been severely undermined by tiredness – apologies)

 umbrella3

So let this be

A lesson to the masses

Yes, umbrellas can protect

But they can also harass us (again – sorry…)

 

Don’t wave them about

Rather open with care

Look out for other people

It’s only fair

 

The End

 

Note: Any one who takes the time to search ‘injuries by umbrellas statistics’ will discover that, yes, there are 870,000 results. You will also notice that only two of those 870,000 results actually refer to injuries caused by umbrellas (quite serious skull penetrating injuries I might add). The rest are ‘statistics‘ of other ‘injuries‘ that commonly fall under ‘umbrella‘ terms, such as Repetitive Strain Injury. Don’t let that take away from the lessons you’ve learnt here today – Umbrellas are dangerous!

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